


How Rusty-James Found Out He Was Gay

by Grays_Tedious



Category: Rumble Fish - S. E. Hinton
Genre: An Insult to the Source Material On So Many Levels, Coming Out, Crack, Humor, M/M, brief sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 19:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11812845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grays_Tedious/pseuds/Grays_Tedious
Summary: After Patty dumps him to be a lesbian, Rusty-James begins to realize that she may not be the only one who's playing for the same team. It's all thanks to his best friend, Steve Hays (with a little extra help from everyone's favorite gay icon, the Motorcycle Boy).





	How Rusty-James Found Out He Was Gay

**Author's Note:**

> My friend Kate and I took turns writing this in my notebook when we were very very bored. Everything I wrote is in bold, while everything she wrote is in italics.

**Once upon a time, Rusty-James was gay.** _Everyone knew this but him._ **This is the story of how he finally figured it out.** _It took him a damn long time, too._

**Rather ironically, it happened during one warm day in June–Pride Month.** _This all because of some hot as fuck bastard._

**Just kidding–it was me.** _I liked him for a while but he didn’t realize that he was gay._

**“Can you believe that bullshit, man?” he was ranting. Patty, his girlfriend, had just broken up with him. “How did she not realize she was a fucking lesbian until /now/?”**

_I stared at him in annoyance.  
_

_“What?”  
_

_“You fucking dumbass.”  
_

**“You need to be more specific, Stephen.”**

_“Okay, listen. Everyone knew she loved tits more than you. Well you say you do but that’s debateable.”_

**Rusty-James blinked at me. “What?”**

**I grabbed him by the shoulders and yelled, “Russel-James, YOU are GAY!!!”**

_“WHAT??!!! No fucking way in hell. I’m as straight as a pole.”  
_

_“No, you’re a noodle. You’re straight until you’re hot.”_

**“And wet–DAMMIT!” He crossed his arms. “And how would /you/ know anyway? It’s not like /you’re/ gay.”**

_“Surprise.”_

**Rusty-James really was oblivious if he thought /I/ was straight. He wouldn’t have known gay if it drove up and ran him over with his brother’s motorcycle.**

_“Wait, oh, holy shit.” He sat back and realized he was an idiot._

**“We’ve been kissing since Kindergarten. We have a plan where if we’re both single when we turn 30, we just marry each other.”  
**

**“That’s just dudes being bros.”  
**

**“You gave me a blowjob yesterday.”  
**

**“Bro-job.”**

_“You idiot.”  
_

_“I’m not gay!”_

**“Okay–bi, pan, whatever. That’s cool. You’re still not straight.”**

_“Yes. I. Am.”  
_

_“Yeah, no.” Then I kissed him._

**It was a little awkward at first because I had to bend down a little far to reach his mouth.** _He hesitated at first but slowly got into it._

**When we broke apart, we were both gasping for breath and flushed. “So what do you think now?” I asked.**

_“Uhhh, I MAY be gay.”_

**Suddenly, the Motorcycle Boy drove up wearing a rainbow flag as a cape and ran his brother over.**

_“Bro what the fuck!”  
_

_“I paid him to do that.”  
_

_“Why isn’t he stopping?”  
_

_“Just kiss me again.”_

**We kissed passionately once more as the Motorcycle Boy rode into the sun above our heads. (Not the sunset. The sun. The Motorcycle Boy can fly now.)**

**And that’s the story of how my best friend Russel-James found out he was gay.**

//THE END//

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> My Tumblr: https://genderfluidsodapopcurtis.tumblr.com/  
> Kate's Tumblr: http://bandsandbooks-25.tumblr.com/


End file.
